Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Welcome back, Alee!


It's been a long time since the most not-so-recent post. I have been so busy with my degree course till I forgot to buy some time for me to write something, for myself. It's awkward ain't it? This blog is supposed to be Bahasa themed blog. Yes! That's why I'm writing it in english anyway, because I'm thinking of making a new blog where I can practice my english. Plus, it will be where I deliver my cinematic thoughts and reviews. Before that, I would like to write a short note on my unexpected comeback. 

I have changed.. a lot lately. It's weird, my patterns of friendship, my daily routines and my romantic arc. It has all changed quite a lot lately. As if, I have come to "that" age. I call it 'coming of cinematic age'. As a film student, I regard my life line to encounter two different phases of maturity. One, the biological phase where my body figure and thinking habit changed and later is where I encounter an enthusiasm to love anything independently. Suddenly, my own definitions of friendship, love and passion have changed from anything to something. 

I have countless of friends. Each of them come and go but that does not mean they do not cross into my mind everyday. I have started to accept the fact that every person who made it to become close to me, will not last any longer than six months. But believe me, we do "whatsapp" each other every time nostalgic moment hits. Therefore, I avoid myself from being 'belonged' to any group. The good thing is, I have an open circle where anyone can step in. Yes, I enjoy myself befriending with a number of people that include lecturers and working-aged people. I actually foresee my self good in interacting to individuals as compared to groups and you know what? I have learned how to inject a compatible conversation. 

I do have a loved one but we don't practice what other couples do. We RARELY see each other, SELDOMLY text to each other and I make myself used to not sharing our romantic pictures to social network. It is fun to make some stalkers thrilled with curiosity some times, but that is not the point. I have learned to accept that he might be a potential life companion, he doesn't must to. If it's not happening between us, I would be so glad it was a successful relationship that only lasts for certain period. 

Undeniably, my passion is anything to do with film. However, I don't feel deserved to be called as 'film-goer' because, my cinematic memory capacity has MORE THAN A LOT to come. I have started to mingle with "orang filem" lately and I feel so small. I have lived for 22 years but I feel like my cinematic age is actually 7. Cinematically, I have miles to go before coming of that 'age'. How can I regard myself as a film lover when all the films that I have watched were all oscar award winnings and mostly, HOLLYWOOD-BASED?! I feel ashamed of myself, so I decided to take a leap of cinematic faith. I begin to look forward to seeing any films screened in my faculty, which holds twice a week. Sometimes, I have my teh tarik taste better with post-screening discussions. I feel welcomed every time. Most exciting, Pusat Kajian & Apresiasi Filem has now holding a film screening fortnightly. Now film screening has becoming my compulsory cinematic diet. People might ask, so what? You can always have your own cinematic experience in your portable device like laptops, tabs or smartphones, not to mention their technological advance in screen resolution quality. Well, I might answer, it differs a hell lot. When you see movies in the laptop, you learn how to sit, focus and be quiet but in movie screenings, you learn to go, to reach and most importantly, to appreciate. Before you realize, even your conversation startings has improved in much good ways. Practically and psychologically, I begin to love going to film screenings because it changes my daily routine. You know what's the good thing of being busy, you get to know your boundaries and time management. 

Wow, that's tonnes of words than I expected. I foresaw a short goodbye-like post, but this is not the end. That's life, it's hard to tell when the starting ends and then ending starts. Anyway, I am still considering on making a new blog. I know nobody will read this. If you do, then it must be because you googled "Pusat Kajian & Apresiasi Filem" and eagerly wanting to know reviews related to it. Nah, I am just blabbering.  

Till then, see you. 

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