26

Dear Alee,

It's okay to be 26 and still be a girl. I know you're scared of life. You have done great. It's not easy for you to be in another country when you just lost many things, all at once. It's okay. 

Alee, one day you're gonna thank yourself for making a strong decision. It's okay choosing to be alone although you know you will end up crying on the shower floor. At the age of 26, being in the country you're not familiar with, is like taking the train to 2046. Going to a place and not going back. That's what you want, right? You're gonna miss out so many things. Haha even people don't remember your birthday anymore, except for one or two. They only wish you after they see your post. That's the thing that you have to get used to, you know. Being forgotten. The people who always ask you to hang around don't even text you anymore. The people you made special post on instagram don't even do the same thing to you, cuz you don't matter anymore. Wanna know what hurts the most? Knowing that people will continue defending the person who has made you hurt and traumatized. Just because they are there with that person. And you're not there to explain everything. It hurts, but you'll be okay. You have made a decision. To leave.

In the end it's gonna be alright, but it might take a hundred sleepless nights, to make the memories of you disappear, but right now I can't see nothing thru these tears.